Any friend who’s ever walked in on one of my solo dance parties can tell you that whenever I’ve got my earbuds in, I’m completely oblivious to everything going on around me in the real world. Most of the time, when my iPod’s on, I’ve transported myself into some kind of music video reality where the only things I have to worry about are keeping rhythm, singing along, and reacting appropriately to the lyrics in any given song than happens to come up in my shuffle.
I find that music is one of the most common ways in which people define themselves and even sometimes organize themselves into certain groups and categories. At the same time I find that curious, I realize that I classify people according to musical standards as well. For instance, I’m distrustful of people who claim to be indifferent about music. To me, music isn’t something you can be blasé about. Music is too powerful: it can change the mood of a scene in a movie so much more effectively than an actor’s performance can, aid people through trying times, or even call large groups of people to action. (Anyone who’s ever been to a Green Day concert knows what I’m talking about. When Billie Joe tells you to scream, you scream. He tells you to clap, and you clap. If he told you to set the place on fire, you’d probably do that, too, even if you’d never had the notion to commit arson before.) I have such strong, vivid memories of my past experiences in part because I can recall what song was playing when it happened. Like most people, the music I listened to growing up has helped shape my character in some way or another. Music isn’t just background noise, and it deserves your attention. I’m always suspicious of those who think they’re above that kind of power.
And just like I’m not sure how to take those who don’t like music, or don’t care about music, I’m wary of those who don’t dance. To me, refusing to dance seems like an abhorrence of human nature. Like the Spice Girls say, “If you can’t dance, you can’t do nothing for me, baby.”
I’m not speaking to those who are afraid to dance in public, of course. I understand that sometimes, it’s a little unnerving to move your body around in ridiculous motions in front of other people. Even those who refuse to flail about in the presence of others, although missing out on the fun, usually lock themselves away somewhere with an iTunes account and disco down alone.
I’m not even talking to people who think they can’t dance well. Not everybody can be good at dancing, but everybody can dance. That’s why the people who are good at it are called professionals.
I’m talking to those people who, when you ask them to dance, tell you, “I don’t dance.” I think those people probably have no soul. At the very least, they hate existing.
Because I’ve watched Footloose, I can imagine a world without song and dance, and it sucks. Everyone’s always pissed off, or sad, or worse, just apathetic about absolutely everything. Dancing is just one of the ways we have to express what we’re feeling. Whenever I need to let off some steam, I dance. No joke. When I was abroad in England four months, away from friends, family, and home for the first time in my life, I was constantly anxious, stressed, and often depressed. To keep myself going, I’d make frequent trips to the water closet, lock myself in, and work out my issues Ren McCormack-style.
If you’re not dancing, you’re abandoning one of the built-in defense mechanisms humans have to ward off depression, stress, and anxiety. In the first Deathly Hallows film, when Harry and Hermione are abandoned by their best friend in the middle of the woods during a bleak winter and it seems as though their mission to find and destroy all the Horcruxes might have been in vain, they dance. And, though it’s short-lived, for one blissful moment, they both smile and stop worrying about all the terrible things that have happened to them so far.
If you’re not buying into the Harry Potter evidence, there’s some actual scientific data about this. In 2003, The New England Journal of Medicine published a case study that tracked various leisure activities of senior citizens, monitoring those activities alongside rates of dementia (including Alzheimer’s) in its subjects. This study, conducted by Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York City, measured the benefits of cognitive activities such as reading books, writing for pleasure, doing crossword puzzles, playing cards, and playing musical instruments. They also studied physical activities like playing tennis or golf, swimming, bicycling, dancing, walking for exercise, and doing housework. Researchers were curious if any physical or cognitive recreational activities might influence mental acuity. Surprisingly, the study revealed that almost no physical activities seemed to improve mental acuity or ward off dementia. There was one exception, however. Dancing was the only physical activity in the study associated with a lower risk of dementia. Among the subjects of the study, dancing frequently reduced the risk of dementia by 76%–the greatest risk reduction of any activity studied, cognitive or physical. So, next time you feel embarrassed about dancing in public, just know that in about 60 years, anyone who’s not out on the dance floor with you probably won’t have the faintest memory of seeing you thrash around to that Ke$ha song.
Maybe you don’t care about being smart and staying sharp. Maybe you just want to be cool. That’s fine. I present you with this awesomeness:
Also, how many movies have ended with a character who’s gone largely unnoticed the entire film suddenly taking to the dance floor and showing everyone just how awesome he/she is? According to most 80s cinema, there’s no better way to become popular than to put on your boogie shoes and force your way to the center of the dance floor.
And, to the men of this world who think dancing isn’t manly, I assure you, dance moves are certifiably the sexiest skills you could ever possess. I can’t back that up with any quantifiable data but I did see Magic Mike, and… you’re just going to have to trust me on this one. But even if you dance less like Channing Tatum and more like Hugh Grant in Love, Actually, I promise you’ll still be a sex object if you just show off your moves every once in a while.
I’m telling you, everyone can and should dance. There’s simply no good reason for you not to, and tons of reasons you should. Even Frederich Nietzsche once said, “We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” However, if Nietzsche and I can’t convince you, perhaps these tunes just might be able to. Put in some headphones, or crank up your speakers—whatever works for you—and like Gaga says, just dance.
- “Canned Heat,” Jamiroquai
- “Move This,” Technotronic
- “Dancing On My Own,” Robyn
- “Wop,” J-Dash
- “Boogie Shoes,” KC & The Sunshine Band
- “Danza Kuduro,” Don Omar & Lucenzo
- “Little White Doves,” Dirty Vegas
- “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It),” Beyoncé
- “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” Whitney Houston
- “Yeah,” Usher ft. Lil Jon and Ludacris
- “I Love It,” Icona Pop
- “I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’,” Scissor Sisters
- “What Makes You Beautiful,” One Direction ( I don’t care who you are, you love this song.)
- “Hey Ya,” Outkast
- “Little Secrets,” Passion Pit
- “Teach Me How to Dougie,” Cali Swag District
- “Conga,” Miami Sound Machine
- “Cotton Eye Joe,” Rednex
- “Good Girls Go Bad,” Cobra Starship
- “Golden Years,” David Bowie
- “Footloose,” Kenny Loggins
- “The Feeling,” The Knocks (actually, anything by The Knocks)
- “We Speak No Americano,” Yolando Be Cool & DCup
- “Safety Dance,” Men Without Hats
- “Electric Feel,” MGMT
- “Billie Jean,” Michael Jackson
- “Super Freak,” Rick James
- “What I Like About You,” The Romantics
- “She Wolf,” Shakira
- “Swing,” Savage
- “Call Me Maybe,” Carly Rae Jepsen
- “Stand Out,” Tevin Campbell, aka “That Song From A Goofy Movie”
- “Swoon,” Timeflies
- “Time Warp,” Rocky Horror Picture Show
- “Rack City,” Tyga
- “Dance Like This,” Wyclef Jean & Claudette Oritz
- “Don’t Trust Me,” 3OH!3
- “Land of A Thousand Dances,” Wilson Pickett
- “Calle Ocho,” Pitbull
- “I’ve Had the Time of My Life,” Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes
like the island 
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